I hereby certify the above to be correct and true under penalty of eternal damnation in the hell where the only available technology is the iPhone2, with a NiCad battery designed by Samsung, running Windows10RT, with a cracked screen that only responds through Siri, yet still only shows results from Bing, over a Dial-up connection provided by Centurylink that only connects to Comcast customer service chat, and bills me at Verizon rates for services I never ordered, and makes me sit through sixteen minutes of Youtube commercials before every call, then puts me on a five hour hold to talk to tech support in a country that barely speaks my language- has never used the device in question, and is reading from a script written by the creators of Troll 2 (hereafter refered in short as the "Hell of a Thousand iPhones").

Further, that I am of legal age of majority and consent as provided by law; am aware of what hentai is and that related themes may be present in the content provided on this website, and of adequate health both physically and mentally to endure the rigors of playing an adult themed game~ and the cardiovascular stresses involved in any related self-gratification thereto.

Oh, and whatever laws may be applicable in my country.